Ask Mister Bunny

Dear Mister Bunny:  It is getting very cold outside and I am worried.  What do rabbits do when winter comes? —Your pal, Timmy.

Well, bless your little heart for being so considerate, Timmy.  But you shouldn’t be worried.  Rabbits have many ways to stay warm and snug through the cold winter nights.

Some rabbits dig deep burrows during the summer, so that when the weather turns cold they can huddle underground with other rabbits that they have invited over even though they hardly know them. Sometimes they are not friends when Spring comes at last.  Sometimes there are lawsuits.

Other rabbits, often the brothers-in-law of respectable bunnies, don’t want to stay underground all winter, so they rent rooms at a cheap motel out by the airport and spend their time making magic crystals to sell to truck drivers. These rabbits will eventually be warm underground for all eternity.

Personally, Mister Bunny has spent a lot of time and work on his burrow, and he and Mrs. Bunny and all the little Bunny children will spend the winter in their cozy underground bungalow, which has a living room, four bedrooms, three full baths, a modern kitchen and a nice warm den where Mister Bunny can watch his shows on a big TV.  This winter Mister Bunny plans to watch the entire boxed set of “24″ he got for his birthday in July.  Mister Bunny wishes that Jack Bauer would pay more attention to what’s going on out near the airport.

Dear Mister Bunny:  Do trees sleep?  Your pal, Timmy.

That’s a good question, Timmy.  A very good question.  Don’t ever let anyone tell that that’s not a good question or accuse you of being “provocative” when you ask it.  Some grownups get very angry when they are asked questions like that question, not because they are bad or “stupid” questions, but because the grownups simply don’t know the answer to the question.  Sometimes grownups will even try to give you pills that will make you not want to ask good questions like that one.  Do not take the pills!  Run away from the grownup as fast as you can.  If you can’t run away, biting sometimes works.

Yes, of course trees sleep.